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Comment by Sheri on June 29, 2008 at 1:13am

glitter-graphics.com

Comment by Sheri on June 24, 2008 at 10:43am

Comment by Sheri on June 23, 2008 at 12:58pm

Comment by Sheri on June 21, 2008 at 1:55am

The Ears Have It

This pastor joke might turn your stomach if you are not a hunter.

Three friends decided to go deer hunting together. One was a lawyer, one a doctor, and the other a preacher.

As they were walking, along came a big buck. The three of them shot simultaneously. Immediately the buck dropped to the ground and all three rushed up to see how big it actually was.

Upon reaching it they found out that it was dead but had only one bullet hole. Thus a debate followed concerning whose buck it was.

A few minutes later a game officer came by and asked what the problem was. The doctor told him their reason for the debate. The officer told them he would take a look and tell them who shot it.

Within a few seconds the game officer said with much confidence, "The pastor shot the buck!"

They all wondered how he knew that so quickly.

The officer said, "Easy. The bullet went in one ear and out the other."

Comment by Sheri on June 20, 2008 at 3:25am

THE ONE DOLLAR BILL

There was this $20 dollar bill and a $1 dollar bill on the conveyor belt at the downtown Federal Reserve Building. As they were laying there side by side the $1 dollar bill said to the $20 dollar bill, "Hey mannnnnn, where have you been. I haven't seen you in a long time?" The $20 dollar bill replied, "Man I have been having a ball!! I've been traveling to distant countries, going to the finest restaurants, to the biggest and best casinos, numerous boutiques, the mall uptown, the mall downtown, the mall across town and even a mall that I just newly built. In fact, just this week I've been to Europe, a professional NBA game, Rodeo Drive, the all day retreat spa, the top-notch hair salon and the new casino!! I have done it all!!!"

After describing his great travels, the $20 dollar bill asked the $1dollar bill, "What about you? Where have you been?" The $1 dollar replied, "Well, I've been to the Baptist church, the Methodist church, the Presbyterian church, the Episcopalian church the Church of God in Christ, the Catholic church, the Mormon church, the church of the Latter Day Saints , the A.M.E. church, the Disciple of Christ church, the... "WAIT A MINUTE! WAIT A M I N U T E !!", shouted the $20 dollar bill to the $1 dollar bill. "What's a church??"

Comment by Sheri on June 20, 2008 at 3:16am

TOP TEN SIGNS YOU MAY NOT BE READING YOUR BIBLE ENOUGH:

10) The Preacher announces the sermon is from Galatians ... and you check the table of contents.
9) You think Abraham, Isaac & Jacob may have had a few hit songs during the 60's.
8) You open to the Gospel of Luke and a WWII Savings Bond falls out.
7) Your favorite Old Testament Patriarch is Hercules.
6) A small family of woodchucks has taken up residence in the Psalms of your Bible.
5) You become frustrated because Charlton Heston isn't listed in either the Concordance or the Table of Contents.
4) Catching the kids reading the Song of Solomon, you demand: "Who gave you this stuff?"
3) You think the Minor Prophets worked in the quarries.
2) You keep falling for it every time when Pastor tells you to turn to First Condominiums.
And the number one sign you may not be reading your Bible enough:
1) The kids keep asking too many questions about your usual bedtime story: "Jonah the Shepherd Boy and His Ark of Many Colors."

Comment by Bonnie on June 19, 2008 at 12:27pm

Visiting Pastor
A pastor went out one Saturday to visit his church members. At one house, it was obvious that someone was home, but nobody came to the door even though the preacher knocked several times. Finally, the preacher took out his card, wrote out "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it, and stuck it in the door.

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with me. - Revelation 3:20

The next day, the card turned up in the collection plate. Below the preacher's message was written the following notation:

I heard your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself. - Genesis 3:10

Comment by Bonnie on June 19, 2008 at 12:26pm

Lesson in Lying
A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."


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Comment by Bonnie on June 19, 2008 at 12:12pm

Out Of Gas

A nun who works for a local home health care agency was out making her rounds when she ran out of
gas. As luck would have it there was a station just down the street. She walked to the station to borrow
a can with enough gas to start the car and drive to the station for a fill up.

The attendant regretfully told her that the only can he owned had just been loaned out, but if she would
care to wait he was sure it would be back shortly.


Since the nun was on the way to see a patient she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. After
looking through her car for something to carry to the station to fill with gas, she spotted a bedpan she
was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, she carried it to the station, filled it with gasoline, and
carried it back to her car.


As she was pouring the gas into the tank of her car two men walked by. One of them turned to the other
and said: "Now that is what I call faith!"

Author is Unknown

Comment by Bonnie on June 19, 2008 at 12:11pm

Faithful With Much

At a Wednesday evening church meeting a very wealthy man rose to give his testimony.

"I'm a millionaire," he said, "and I attribute it all to the rich blessings of God in my life.
I can still remember the turning point in my faith, like it was yesterday:


I had just earned my first dollar and I went to a church meeting that night.
The speaker was a missionary who told about his work.
I knew that I only had a dollar bill and had to either give it all to God's work or nothing at all.
So at that moment I decided to give my whole dollar to God.
I believe that God blessed that decision, and that is why I am a rich man today."


As he finished it was clear that everyone had been moved by this man's story.
But, as he took his seat, a little old lady sitting in the same pew leaned over and said:
"Wonderful story! I dare you to do it again!"

Author is Unknown