Sundays used to be different. Get up early, get dressed up, get the kids dressed, fix breakfast, pile in the car, go to church, sing and clap, listen to the pastor, talk to friends, come home, fix lunch, watch TV, fix dinner, get dressed up again, go to church again, sing and clap, listen to the pastor, talk to friends, come home, fix a snack, put the kids to bed.... whew! what a day!
Now, Sundays are: sleep in until 9, get up and make coffee, turn on my computer, check my email, read some devotionals, read a little in my Bible, work on schoolwork, fix david something to eat, do some more schoolwork, get dressed, go for a motorcycle ride, or watch TV, do schoolwork, check email, talk to my daughter, fix dinner, watch TV, go to bed... pretty different!
A girlfriend the other day was telling me she didn't know how she was going to make it through the summer because the job she had taken wouldn't allow her to go to church on Sundays or Wednesdays. And, I thought, wow, I haven't attended church regularly in over 3 years. How has that affected me?
I know that my faith is different now. I know that sometimes I question how much I believe and trust in God. And sometimes the spirit of God overtakes me and surprises me that I can still feel Him. And sometimes, I look back and marvel at how different life is now and where the journey has taken us.
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Kaye, when I look at you, sister, I don't even have to look at you, when I think about you, I feel so much loneliness and emptiness. I have a sense of "where do I belong"? "why am I here"? "what is my purpose"? "I am of no use" that's the worst one, and it breaks my heart.
A couple of weeks ago on Sunday, we were just coming down from church, and we seen you and David riding up, I don't know who was with you guys, it doesn't matter. But you passed us, Barb and Lee, and I'm sure Darus and Kay. I looked at you sitting on the back of the bike with David, even though it was only a flash, and I can still see the look in your eyes. . .they were void of that joy you used to have when you rode, whether on your bike or with David.
What do you marvel at Kaye? What is the difference, and where has this journey taken you?
I remember too, when the Holy Spirit would fill you, it was EVERY TIME we were riding, when we were all attending church together, when we were all making great sacrifices for one another come what may, when our hearts and minds were in one accord, when Jesus was our focus.
Kaye, you know as well as I do that we can't give God "some days". We gotta give Him "every day"! Change the direction your journey is leading you, He has given you the ability to do this! Don't be the Christmas and Easter attending Christian! Be the "everyday" Christian! No matter who or what stands in your way.
Do not forsake the gathering of the brethren. . .and that doesn't mean band practice.
I love you