I Dare You To Pray
The last 24 hours
At 4pm yesterday a thunderstorm started out of nowhere and then my phone rang as I was listening to the rain and enjoying it because I love the rain; it was Ryan. "I have some bad news...we have to be at Fort Knox, Kentucky by October 16th...". I thought he was joking and he wasn't. Last minute list of men who weren't supposed to be leaving with the unit because of injuries, etc now are and we're the lucky few.
My c-section for our son Gavin is scheduled for September 11th and I don't even know how long the recoup time is for something like that and if I'll be able to travel the 15 hours to Fort Knox but I refuse to seperate my family when Gavin will finally be here in 14 days; I won't take that away from my husband. I did what any daughter would do and called her mom to tell her the good & bad news...that we were moving farther from them. I instinctively checked the bank account and the pay site to see if we could scrounge up a move in such a short time span and started crying when I saw they took my husband's pay for the next 2-3 months. Questions running through my mind: How? Can they? How are we guna make it?Then we called his parents to beg for a loan to pay for groceries and bills till his pay returns and they said "It'll all work out" so the plan was emergency loan and he would talk to his officers and try to find loopholes today to get us by while I try to do housing over the phone and we calmed down enough to sleep at 12am.
At 530am this morning he woke me up to say bye before work and said the fridge busted last night and the groceries we did have are thawing and getting warm...can I handle any more on my plate? I need to be strong I know for myself, Ryan, and Gavin and I know he'll never put more on us than he knows we can handle but so close to my due date and the end of waiting to finally have a family and I'm afraid I'm not strong enough to keep the tears back and hold my head high. I keep quoting in my head "Yay though I walk through the shadow of the valley of death I will fear no evil for thou art with me and thy rod and staff they comfort and leadeth me beside still waters and maketh me to lie down in green pastures....for when thou art with me who can be against me" but my heart is faltering and my faith is losing it's foothold. God help me be strong and provide for us what we cannot
My c-section for our son Gavin is scheduled for September 11th and I don't even know how long the recoup time is for something like that and if I'll be able to travel the 15 hours to Fort Knox but I refuse to seperate my family when Gavin will finally be here in 14 days; I won't take that away from my husband. I did what any daughter would do and called her mom to tell her the good & bad news...that we were moving farther from them. I instinctively checked the bank account and the pay site to see if we could scrounge up a move in such a short time span and started crying when I saw they took my husband's pay for the next 2-3 months. Questions running through my mind: How? Can they? How are we guna make it?Then we called his parents to beg for a loan to pay for groceries and bills till his pay returns and they said "It'll all work out" so the plan was emergency loan and he would talk to his officers and try to find loopholes today to get us by while I try to do housing over the phone and we calmed down enough to sleep at 12am.
At 530am this morning he woke me up to say bye before work and said the fridge busted last night and the groceries we did have are thawing and getting warm...can I handle any more on my plate? I need to be strong I know for myself, Ryan, and Gavin and I know he'll never put more on us than he knows we can handle but so close to my due date and the end of waiting to finally have a family and I'm afraid I'm not strong enough to keep the tears back and hold my head high. I keep quoting in my head "Yay though I walk through the shadow of the valley of death I will fear no evil for thou art with me and thy rod and staff they comfort and leadeth me beside still waters and maketh me to lie down in green pastures....for when thou art with me who can be against me" but my heart is faltering and my faith is losing it's foothold. God help me be strong and provide for us what we cannot
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Comment by grammykittylynn on August 27, 2009 at 10:12am - Yes Lord I agree with trisha. Help them both be strong, increase their faith. I pray for peace for them. wrap them in your unfailing love. provide what they need Lord. thank You Lord. we worship You, we Love You in Jesus name, amen
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